I always thought of Madonna as the Mother of Reinvention. She has been performing for over 40 years and she has managed to reinvent herself during each decade and remained relevant. That is no easy task. It takes a lot of work, planning, and re-evaluation of one’s life to decide where they want to go next. Let’s go through all of the steps to see why reinvention is not something that happens overnight.
RE-EVALUATION: At one point in one’s life a person starts to reflect on their lives and decide it is time for a change. It usually happens in our late 30s to early 40s; the midlife crisis stage. I was no different. After a series of serious mistakes in my life, I knew I needed to make a change. What made me make this decision? For myself, my life was going downhill and I was making no effort to change it for the better. Before a person can make that change, they have to realize that there is a problem or lifestyle that need to change. It is like the first step in a 12-step program: admitting you have a problem and you life is not getting any better due to this problem. Does it always have to be a problem that needs changing? No. Sometimes we are just bored with the way our life is going and want our life to go in a different direction. Either way, it is time for a change.
PLANNING: Now that I realize there is time for a change, what do I do next? In my case, I had to come up with a plan and come up with it very quick. Time was running out and I had to do something. This is when efficient planning is needed. Nothing comes together without a good plan. I decided to leave behind just about everything and everyone I knew and begin a new life 1,000 miles away in Florida. I knew no one down there and had no job waiting for me there. I knew it was the best decision. How was I going to make this happen? What was my plan? I decided to go to rehab in the middle of the month and leave right afterwards and move to Florida. In that way, I could save some money and check myself into a halfway house and start over again. Did I come up with this plan in an hour? No, it took about 5 months to come up with the plan.
Planning is never easy. There is always so much thought and work involved. Also you have to believe in Murphy’s Law. If it can go wrong, it will. This was not the first time I planned to leave my house and start over; but this time it had to be different. This time is had to work. Did it? This time with the support of my family I was able to move down to Florida and start over. But after eight months, I had not done anything that different and I was afraid of failure once again. How was this time going to be different. I was taking photos and people was commenting how much they enjoyed my photography. It was mentioned to me, that I should go to school. I always wanted to go to college every since I was 18 years old. So I spontaneously decided to go to college. Now that I made the decision, the question arose: how was I going to make it happen? I devise a plan to go to college and pursue my love of photography.
No matter what you decide to do, always have a good plan in place. Don’t set up expectations so high until you are faced with nothing but disappointments. Be realistic. Be focused. Be real.
EXECUTION: Now that you have come up with good, solid plan, the work really begins. When I decided to pursue photography, I had to do a lot of preparations to take care of. There was forms to filled, interviews to be had, and supplies to be bought. It was a lot of work and no one was going to hold my hand while I got these things done. It was time to finally put up or shut up. Some tasks was easier than others.
I was able to complete four quarters (we did not have semesters) of college before I had came to a crossroad and was force to make a detour in my education. I could no longer afford to continue with photography and due to having no car, it was not safe to carry all of the equipment at night on the bus. I switched to graphic design but I continue to self-teach myself photography for the remainder of the four years I was in college.
The point is I did the work necessary to execute a successful result despite unforeseen circumstances that lead to a detour best made plans. You already did half the work by planning everything necessary for a successful change in yourself. How disappointed you would feel if you stop there without executing your plans. Granted, life happens at all the wrong times. That can’t be avoided. Sometimes it is better and wise to delay the work; but whatever you do, DO NOT not do the work. If you choose that route, you WILL have regrets later on in life. You owe it to yourself to complete this journey.
PATIENCE: If there is anything being a New Yorker has made me is a person with a lack of patience. We are of the mentality, “Why wasn’t it completed yesterday? What is taking so long? I have places to go and people to meet! I don’t have time for this!” Yes our time is valuable, especially in the digital age that we live in. Time is money. But like a fine wine, some things can not and should not be rushed; especially something as important as our life. Rushing a change as important as our life, will lead to many costly mistakes, a lot of do-overs, valuable time lost, and more heartache than we would have had if only we had taken it slowly. In my case, the process took over five years. What steps can you take so that you exercise the virtue of patience?
- First of all, don’t overthink the process in which it becomes your obsession. Overthinking in one area leads to other areas being neglected. In turn that creative more unnecessary work and undue stress.
- Let the process to flourish naturally and organically. That can only happen by allowing time to pass. Remember, you did not get to this point in one day. It took years to get to this point. It will take some time to make that change, probably years before you are finished.
- Set small goals for yourself during the process to complete so that it doesn’t seem like tedious work. Make it somewhat fun and enjoyable. At the same time don’t forget the seriousness of what you are trying to accomplish.
RESULTS: We have discussed four steps in the process of doing a reinvention Now that you have gone through the four steps, now let’s discuss the most important part of your reinvention: the results. Your results show reflect all of the hard work that you put into your reinvention. In my case, my results was both physical and emotional. People had known me as, “the twin”, “Kenny’s brother”, “Peggy’s son, or “the drug addict. Now people started to see me as “Keith, the photographer and graphic designer”, or “Keith, the blogger”. Yes, after almost 7 years of hard work, I created a new identity for myself, and it felt very good. None of it would have happened if I had not done the four steps to the best of my ability. There was definitely some setbacks and detours. Was it worth it. Definitely yes! Due to this journey, I have grown both emotionally and spiritually. It challenged me to go into a field I really knew nothing about. I learned new programs, met new people in the art world, and have new experiences I would have never had if I had not gone on this journey.
No matter what changes you feel you may need to make in your life, the only way to successfully see it though is by careful reassessment and planning, then following up on your plans by taking the necessary action to make journey successful. It will not be an easy journey. You will face many challenges kin different areas. The important thing is to meet the challenges head on and don’t give up. May journey bring you as much success and happiness as mine did!
Keith's Passages 